# Message file for epac2.ssl
{100}{}{You see a Hologram.}
{101}{}{You see the Director of Science.}
{102}{}{Hologram 00000. He looks after the scientific aspects of the EPA.}
{200}{}{01001000 01100101 01101100 01110000 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100001}
{201}{}{Uh, what?}
{210}{}{01000101 01101100 01100101 01100011 01110100 01110010 01101001 01100011 01100001 01101100 00100000 01110011
01101000 01101111 01110010 01110100 00101110}
{211}{}{Sorry, I can’t understand you. Bye.}
{212}{}{Interesting. It seems you’re only able to communicate using binary numbers. Hold on, if I write down what
you’re saying, I just might be able to figure this out.}
{220}{}{[After a couple hours, you finally believe you’ve correctly translated the binary numbers. It appears he’s
saying “Help me! Electrical short.”}
{221}{}{Well, that was fun to decode. See ya.}
{222}{}{An electrical short in the tape reel, huh? Alright, let’s see if we can get you fixed.}
{230}{}{01001000 01100101 01101100 01110000 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100001}
{231}{}{Just checking in. See ya.}
{232}{}{Don’t worry, I’m working on getting you fixed.}
{240}{}{01010010 01100101 01100010 01101111 01101111 01110100 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100001}
{241}{}{Alright, I give up. Sorry.}
{242}{}{Still not working? Hold on, let me decipher that.}
{250}{}{[You’re able to decode the message much quicker this time: “Reboot me!”] Oh, of course. [You reboot the machine
running the hologram. To pass the time, you whistle as it chugs through all its starting procedures.]}
{251}{}{[Continue.]}
{260}{}{By Hawking, you’ve done it! My vocal program had been stuck in binary mode for *years*. It’s been so long since
I’ve had the pleasure of exchanging dialogue with a fellow intellect. You’d think during all this time *one* of my
comrades would have had the decency to learn binary, but nooo.}
{261}{}{No prob—}
{270}{}{They didn’t have time for me, you see. Oh no, they were too *busy* indulging in their bureaucratic nonsense.
Too busy imposing regulations upon one another and bickering like fools. And look where it got them: stuck in an endless
loop in the conference chamber. Ha! Serves ‘em right.}
{271}{}{Stuck in a loop?}
{272}{}{I actually fixed that problem. No more endless loops.}
{280}{}{What’s that? Oh, yes, yes, it seems a malfunction somewhere has generated a powerful magnetic field, which is
erasing their short term memory every couple minutes, damning them to a kind of hologram purgatory. But never mind that,
we’re better off without them. With them tied up in an endless argument, that leaves me, er, I mean, *us*, in charge of
the facility. With my supreme intellect, and your physical body, we could make quite the duo.}
{281}{}{First off, why don’t you tell me what exactly this place is?}
{290}{}{Really? In my opinion, we're better off without them, but if you thought otherwise who am I to complain. With my
supreme intellect, and your physical body, we could make quite the duo, you know.}
{291}{}{First off, why don’t you tell me what exactly this place is?}
{300}{}{Why, it’s the Environmental Protection Agency, of course. This is a federal facility originally established to
regulate chemicals and ensure the protection of the environment, but it’s become oh so much more than that! Why, you’re
standing in one of the nation’s top experimental research facilities. We have so many exciting things in development. Of
course, progress has been a bit slow lately, what with the fall of civilization and all...}
{301}{}{That’s understandable.}
{302}{}{The apocalypse is no excuse for slacking off.}
{310}{}{Yes, if only I had an able bodied assistant, I could finally make some more progress on my research...}
{311}{}{What kind of help do you need?}
{320}{}{Well, that depends. I don’t suppose you’d feel comfortable wielding a large experimental gun, would you?}
{321}{}{Hell yeah I would!}
{322}{}{Sure.}
{323}{}{I think I’ll pass.}
{330}{}{Oh, I see. That’s too bad. Oh well, no hard feelings. I’ll just wait until the next flesh and blood person comes
wandering into this facility. It’s bound to happen again within a century or two. Goodbye.}
{340}{}{Hello again. I don’t suppose you’ve reconsidered my offer of helping me to test an experimental weapon?}
{341}{}{Nope. Sorry.}
{342}{}{Alright. Sure.}
{350}{}{Excellent! You’re the perfect candidate. You see, in an effort to help the military become more “environmentally
friendly”, I developed a new weapon that requires no ammo, as it runs completely on *light*. I call it, the
*Solar Scorcher*. However, it’s yet to be tested under direct sunlight, which is, of course, where you come in.}
{351}{}{So you just want me to go outside and shoot this thing? That’s it?}
{352}{}{Yeah, yeah, just give me the gun already.}
{360}{}{Essentially, yes. Of course, I need to know how well it fares in a combat situation, so I’d appreciate it if you
could find some threatening life forms out there, which you could then spectacularly dispatch with my Solar Scorcher.}
{361}{}{Go outside and kill something, got it. So, where is this Solar Scorcher?}
{370}{}{Not so hasty, my friend. I don’t want you to simply shoot the weapon outside aimlessly. I need to know how well
it fares in a combat situation, so I’d appreciate it if you could find some threatening life forms out there, which you
could then spectacularly dispatch with my Solar Scorcher.}
{371}{}{Go outside and kill something, got it. So, where is this Solar Scorcher?}
{380}{}{Oh, yes, it’s in that locker on the wall over there, next to my projector. The passcode is 03141879.}
{381}{}{Alright, I’ll try it out and let you know how it goes.}
{390}{}{Ah, welcome back. Have you gotten a chance to test the Solar Scorcher?}
{391}{}{Sure did. It scorched the hell out of things.}
{392}{}{Sure did, but the piece of shit broke on me. I had to trash it.}
{393}{}{No, not yet.}
{394}{}{I'll get around to it.}
{400}{}{Excellent! I’m delighted to know it works as intended. Thank you for assisting me with this. Why don’t you go
ahead and keep the Solar Scorcher, I’d rather it get some use than sit around here and collect dust.}
{401}{}{Thanks!}
{402}{}{Good, because I didn’t plan on giving it back anyway.}
{410}{}{Oh . . . I see. I don’t understand, that prototype withstood vigorous lab testing . . . [He shakes his head
sadly.] Anyway, thanks for assisting me.}
{411}{}{Whatever.}
{412}{}{No problem.}
{420}{}{Nice to see you again. However, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a plethora of projects that require my attention.}
{421}{}{[End.]}
{500}{}{You fix Hologram 00000.}
{510}{}{You test the Solar Scorcher for the Director of Science.}